shaken up

so up until this last week, my fall had been going along perfectly. i've had so many fun times over the past few months and then about two weeks ago, i found out that my dog is really sick. brady was born with the herpes virus (very long story) and was not expected to live....however, he did, and i've always called him my miracle dog. well, about two weeks ago, he started not eating very often and losing weight. we found out that he has chronic renal failure which means that his kidneys are shutting down. i don't know how much longer he is going to make it. i've cried more about that than i can even say. its funny how much pets become like family...and brady has always been my baby. i just love that little guy so much. i keep praying for him to make it but i don't think its going to be much longer.

wednesday night, i pulled into my apartment complex about nine in the evening. i was laughing with a friend on the phone but when i turned off the car and looked at my apartment windows, i stopped laughing. my lights were on in my apartment and i NEVER leave lights on. i turn off absolutely everything when i leave. i walked up to my apartment and looked in through the porch windows and i could see that the bathroom light was on and the light from the laundry room. i knew immediately that something was wrong. i went to my door and when i put my key in, i turned the doorknob and the door started to open on its own. i immediately ran up the stairs and got my neighbor to come down with me. when we walked in the apartment, we saw the door jam laying on the floor and chalk dust everywhere from the door. my laptop was gone, my brand new big screen tv was gone, my vera bradley duffel bag, all my dvd's and movies, towels and handtowels, and random foods from the freezer. i have never been so shaken up in my life. i called the police and they were there with me until about eleven in the evening. thank the LORD i have renters insurance so i will be getting a pretty decent sized check to replace all my stolen items. i also have account shield on my television so best buy is taking care of that for me and i am having the tv removed from my account. my dad came down and stayed the night with me and then the next night, matt came down and stayed. i went to work on friday and have been at my parents' house ever since then. i'm heading back to my apartment tomorrow with rocky - who will be moving in with me indefinitely. basically until i feel comfortable staying there on my own again. the apartment complex got my alarm system all set up for me, fixed my door and added a brass plate to it - but i'm still terrified to be there by myself. one of my worst fears has always been having someone break into my home and its horrible when one of your worst fears actually HAPPENS. this is the first break in that my apartment complex has ever had. can you believe that? the cop told me that more than likely, someone saw me carrying in the television two months ago (when i bought it) and has been watching me ever since to figure out my schedule. that scares the life out of me. i'm not at all ready to go back there tomorrow but i'm trusting the Lord to keep me safe. i know that they got what they wanted and there's no way that they would come back there again but its still scary nonetheless. if it wasn't for moving home next august, i would be moving out of that apartment tomorrow. the thought of moving out used to make me want to cry because i love my little home so much - but now? i would do it tomorrow if i could. i'm just ready to be out.

so...i'm learning to trust the Lord and to cast all my anxieties on Him because HE CARES FOR ME. there is always a reason that things happen and i know that above all else, He holds me in His hands...and there is no better place to be. however...i would definitely appreciate all y'alls prayers...they're what gets me through these kinds of times! love you guys.